Remembering the Lost Babies

Baby scan

By Stephanie

October 15^th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day and it’s a day that allows us to mourn and celebrate and acknowledge the brief time that some infants have spent with their mothers or parents. It has been created as a remembrance day to promote support, education and awareness for grieving parents. 

Excerpt from http://www.october15th.com/  ”too many families grieve in silence, sometimes never coming to terms with their loss. Our goal is to help others relate to our loss, know what to say do or not say, not do and to help families live with their loss, not “get over” their loss. 

The following is an excerpt from http://www.bearsforbereavedmommies.org/ 

Why a national day of remembrance and a month of awareness?

Why does anyone need to be made aware of such a subject as pregnancy and infant loss? Why plan activities aimed at community awareness? 

Pregnancy and Infant loss occur much more often than people might believe. Close to 2000 families are affected by this tragedy each year. Miscarriage occurs in 20 to 30 % of all confirmed pregnancies. 75 to 80 % of miscarriages occur within the first 12 weeks of conception, sometimes so early that a woman may not even know she is pregnant, it is therefore believed that 50% of all conceptions result in miscarriage. Ectopic pregnancy occurs in 2 to 3 % of all conceptions. Molar pregnancy occurs in 1 out of 1000 pregnancies, 4 of every 1000 births ends with a stillborn baby and almost 1 of every 100 births results in a baby who dies during the first 28 days of life (not including SIDS which occurs 2 per 100). Chances are, we all know someone who has been affected by pregnancy or infant loss. 

Stillbirth is one of the most misunderstood “accidents,” often viewed as an unfortunate, but minor, nonevent by those outside the family. Not everyone understands the emotional investment parents put into their unborn children, in some cases even before that child is conceived. The hopes, dreams, plans, love and anticipation are real, even if no one has yet seen this child. Families who suffer this tragedy need sensitive caregivers, understanding friends and supportive family members. Yes, awareness is important. A supportive environment can make all the difference in how parents incorporate this loss, this precious child, into their lives in a healthy manner.

Some ideas suggested by www.october15th.com for the month of October

• Tying pink or blue ribbons around trees in yards, neighborhoods, and parks.
• Place signs and banners in your yard, neighborhoods, and parks.
• Contact your local radio stations and television news stations to have them announce that October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.
• Write an article and submit it to your local newspapers.
• Sponsor flowers in memory of your baby in a church service or hospital.
• Have a t-shirt made that says I have an Angel, and have your child’s name put on it.

Ideas for October 15^th as suggested by www.october15th.com 

• Light candles and display them in your windows.
• Contact local Radio and News stations and have them announce that it is October 15th, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
• Sponsor a candle lighting ceremony in a park, church, or local hospital.

Another suggestion is to send a message into space where it will travel for all eternity. This could be a message from the parents for the lost child. This is also a sensitive way for friends and families to let the parents know that they understand their loss. We know that finding the right words to say can be hard, but say it anyway. On our website we have some ideas of messages which you might find appropriate to send for this sensitive occasion.

Some mums have sent pictures of the initial scans, others have sent belly photos, and others have sent photos of the babies which we can also transmit into space. 

So if you know someone who has lost a baby – no matter at what stage of the pregnancy, think of them during the month of October. 

I am closing out with the following excerpt from http://www.bearsforbereavedmommies.org/

Why have an awareness month?

• Because life, even the tiniest life, is special
• Because life, even the tiniest life, must be remembered
• Because parents want to remember
• Because grieving parents need sensitive doctors, nurses, clergy, funeral directors and families
• Because the larger community needs to be reminded that pregnancy and infant losses occur often
• Because the larger community needs to know how to help grieving families
• Because the larger community needs to be reminded that life, even the tiniest life, is special